Begin with the End

Quirky~

I have a habit of reading the ending of a book first...I have to because I can't enjoy the rest of it unless I do. :-)
I didn't used to be that way, it is all Nicholas Spark's fault. Good old Nicky, also known as Writer of Stupid Endings Extraordinaire...

It all started with the book Message in a Bottle.  I am a reader...an avid reader, nay a devourer of books.  I have to read every night before bed, I read while walking, I read in the car (not while driving, but if I could figure out a safe way to do that I would) I read curled up in the chair listening to the rain fall...get the picture?

I was the toddler who scribbled her own nonsense books, the 4year old who learned to read before she went to Kindergarten (which resulted in a spanking at school and a suspension...but that is another story loll)  I have a horrible memory for names, but I remember my Elementary librarian, Mrs. Holmes.  I was the child who raced through school work so she could read during class, the teen that hid a book in my text books (like the teacher wouldn't notice.) The adult who reads at least 4 books a week...get the picture?

Fast forward to the "Stupid Book" (A.K.A.) Message in a Bottle.  I read it.  It was wonderful.  *Spoiler Alert! Then right at the ending, out of the blue one of them dies...Oh my heck! Can you say seriously rude? 

So now, if I start a book that I am really liking, I read the ending to make sure that I am not shocked/disgusted/sad/mad at the ending.  I actually enjoy the story more if I know what will happen.  Then I read the book to fill in the middle.  Now even if someone dies, I am not destroyed.  (Okay, a little dramatic)

I just read a great book called Before Ever After.  I was stunned by how much I liked it.  I laughed out loud when I came across the following quote by Max, one of the main characters.

"Fretting over how life ends, or anything else for that matter, is a complete waste of time," Max said. "I don't know about you, but when I got my hands on those Harry Potter books, I simply had to sneak a peek at the last page."
"Er, Harry Potter?" Jonathan arched a thick silver brow.
Max nodded, "I, for one believe that in order to really enjoy any story, you need to get the ending out of the way as soon as possible--which is why I've brought you all here.  You need to learn the conclusion of one family's story so that you may better appreciate how it began and the cast of characters along the way."

Bam! Vindication! That is is exactly how I feel.  Now if you will excuse me, I have a book to go read.  Ending first of course.  :-)

Who is that Mustached Man?

It has taken me 11 years, but I finally realized that the person I thought was my son Toby is really secret agent...code name T.W.O.

The joke was on us because for all of these years I thought it stood for Toby William Ostler...in reality it stands for Totally Wacky Operative.  Through secret sources I have learned that, he is, a Master of Disguise. 

Once I realized that the strange man in the mustache was the same person I thought I had been raising...I started thinking back on all of the years past...

when he was a toddler and wore a giraffe  (pronounced Hi-Waffe) costume for a week straight...not a quirk but in fact a disguise. 

 The years he preferred to run around naked except for a superman cape...not a future exhibitionist...but a disguise...

In January of 06 we thought he was obsessed with a show called Lazy Town...he wanted this costume more than anything...He wore it for an entire year...cried when he outgrew it.  Little did I know that it was more than a costume...it was setting him up for his ultimate disguise. 

Yes, folks, this is what my son wore to school the other day...a mustache.  All day long.  I can only wonder what his secret mission was on that day......

I am so sad that it is not a real mustache

Nothing going on here...just a man and his mustache enjoying a joke...move along....

You too can be as cool as Agent T.W.O. But only if you have the "Stache"!

Love is Just a Roll of the Dice...

                                   I would like to introduce you to my new love...Yahtzee. 

      Actually, my love affair with this game started when I was a little girl.  Nana taught me how to play.  My Dad's mum was enamoured with it and spent hours playing, either with partners or solo.  We learned early and she even bought us our own dice.  I had pink ones.  I loved them.

     We then started the search for unusual dice, I still have a couple left.  A bone one and a hollow metal die that rattles.  A few more stick  in my mind as coveted memories, I once found a large clear one that housed a tiny die inside.  I loved it so much, but was never able to buy it.  The other one had tiny carvings for all of the number markers.  It was so much fun, we sewed little pouches for them that hung from our belts. Little felt houses for the treasures that loom so large in childhood.
     I remember laying clothed in lovely 70's bell bottoms on our woven rag rug, elbows perched on a corduroy pillow playing Yahtzee with my little sister...each of us yearning for that coveted five dice achievement...YAHTZEE!  We would jump up in a wild banshee dance when we got one.  My Nana and parents made sure we didn't play gambling games with our dice, but if we had, my bet would have been firmly placed on my sister every time.  Golden Fingers Bobbers should have been her name.  One game she rolled 7 Yahtzee's! 

     That is the Yahtzee of the past.  We still play it as a family.  I taught my children at a young age as a tool to help with math.  It is still fun to hear the click of the dice and throw them down excited to see what you get.  Shon and I love to play it with the two of us as well...

Lately though,  I find myself turning to one I stole from one of my children.  A small electronic hand held game that we found and rescued during a room excavation cleaning.  It fits perfectly in my purse pocket, I play it at night when I am too tired to read, in the car (no not while driving silly) and during the many, many, many times I am waiting for children. 



I have a sneaking fear that it might be Mom O's.  One she lent lost to my rug rats years ago.  You have to understand, I would give this woman anything, after all she gave birth to my best friend.  I would and have give her chocolate, time, craft items, laughter and tears, after all she is one of my best friends as well. 

    However, I can not, will not give her my new boyfriend....Electronic Yahtzee.  loll

Survivor 2010 ~ Alfia Island

Survivor 2010 ~ Alfia Island kicked off in style this year.  Located in the wilds of Grandma Joan's backyard in the desolate wasteland of Lehi, Utah,  three intrepid souls braved Hurricane Millie, Tornado Toby and dangerous chalk wounds.  These hardy souls existed on local delicacies such as twigs, grass, a few flowers known from the genus species "Don't~tell~grandma~we~picked~her~petunias" and rocks wrapped in leaves and baked in the sun.  They built shelters using the wide foliage of the "golf~us~umbrella" plant and even adopted a little UT native boy they found running around.  Below are a few pictures that our camera woman was able to snap while braving great danger of drowning from the merciless powers of Hurricane Millie and Tornado Toby. Enjoy......



The girls make quick work of building a shelter.

Yum baked rocks anyone?



Apparently the natives of Lehi Utah are stinkin' adorable.

Lissie grinds down the "dangerous" chalk to render it powerless (and messy)

Danger from above!  Millie has defected to become "Hurricane Millie" and brought along her buddy "Tornado Toby".

This what happened to the poor souls who didn't listen to the weather warnings. Let's take a moment of silence please......

Let's hear it for the winners of Survivor 2010 ~ Alfia's Island!

I seriously LOVE the imagination of kids!  We can learn so much from them.  Chalk, leaves and Grandma's golf umbrellas led to hours of fun cousin playtime. 

Someday...

Someday I will go on my dream retreat which is here http://www.bravegirlsclub.com/  The scenery is gorgeous, the food looks divine, the projects are right up my alley and I love how they have decorated everything.  It is my little "happy place" online.  I pore over their website to see the projects and dream about going.  The catch?  Happy places don't come cheap.  This retreat whistles in to the tune of about $1200. Yes you read that right.  :-)  So for now, it is filed under a someday.  Go check it out anyway though, we all need happy places. 

Healthy Living...All it's cracked up to be?

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."

—Mark Twain

I love to look at ads from the past, a couple of nights ago I couldn't sleep and found these helpful (not) little "gems". Makes it hard to believe that any of our ancestors even stuck around long enough to procreate the next generation! Hmm...Beer for babies, smokin' mamas, arsenic and tape worms, apparently I have been going about this weigh loss and parenting thing all wrong!

Maybe that would have helped Joey sleep through the night.....

One dollar for nothing! Surely they jest!  One dollar can buy you white skin, deathly pallor, arsenic poisening...all for 100 pennies, 20 nickels, 10 thin silver dimes or 4 quarters!  A bargain!

What is his name - so I can never go to him!  Eeeww!

Mmmmm...lard.  Does anyone else feel queasy?

Is it my imagination or is mom looking at them like they are crazy?

Or is she just thinking about her "stylin" swimming suit and wonding if she is showing just a little too much skin?  What will all of the ladies say at the country club?  Silly lady, they won't care because they are too busy smoking and eating lard!

No more toothache, wait, are those children creepy or is it just me?

 How can they build a house out of sticks if they are high on cocaine? 

Uh, there are so many things to say about this,

 I can't even sort and process them because my "smart a**" filter is on overload.  :-)

What!  You mean I have been killing myself at the gym and all I had to do is this! 

Uhg, this is gross on so many levels, and I can not believe that people were really stupid enough to do this.  Maybe all of the cocaine and arsenic helped. 

All I can say is that I think that Mr. Twain was right on this one.  Be careful of advertising - it's a killer. 

 I can't wait to see what I find on my next sleepless night.

Mirror, Mirror

My Friend, if I could give you one thing, I would give you the ability to see yourself as others see you . . . then you would realize what a truly special person you are. ~Barbara A. Billings




I wonder at what point in our lives, do we stop being that little girl with the super sized, super-hero type of confidence? Why as women are so down on ourselves? It is amazing to me to watch a little girl walking about the world, without a care, knowing that she looks "fantabulous" in her red and green cowboy boots, red long johns with a tutu over-top and a tiara. She looks great, she feels great and she KNOWS it!

Somewhere along the way, we lose that sense of self. We don't always wear an outfit because it brings us joy; we wear it because it is in fashion. We look in the mirror and see a nose that is too big, instead of a beautifully shaped mouth or tilted blue eyes.

Now, I realize that to an extent is it important how you look, we need to be well groomed and take care of ourselves. We should take pride in who we are, after all, Heavenly Father gave us our bodies ...ah ha ladies, that is what we need to remember. Who we are is NOT reflected in the flat magazine pictures of personality deprived models. It is in remembering that we have a divine source.

I look at women all around me and am so amazed at their creativity, their flair and their beauty. I honestly don't think that I have ever looked a woman and said, "WOW! WHEW! She is beyond hope! GET OUT THE PAPER BAG! Cover this chick up she is making MY EYES BLEED! Puleez!

But what happens when we compliment someone? They usually demur, not out of false modesty, but because they really can't see what I do when I look at them. Sad.

I have to admit, as much as I love that quote above, I fall into the same category...Stupid media. Just sayin' makes you think doesn't it?

I must, I must, I must decrease my butt!

It is exercise alone that supports the spirits,
and keeps the mind in vigor. ~Marcus Tullius Cicero

Fizzbert to Cicero! What was that guy thinking? Did he need a hobby? I have to say that I can think of the many things that lift my spirits ~ and working out on the weight machines is not one of them!

When I was younger, I was very thin, loved to run, could eat like a horse, still had a 21 inch waist.

Grew a little older, had kids, health issues and gradually my weight started to increase. Still, I thought to myself, “well, I don’t like my stomach muscles because after 4 c-sections and two other surgeries, they were basically mush, however I can live with it, if I have to.”

My butt, I can honestly say I didn’t worry about, not because I thought it was a toned thing of beauty, I just decided it was everyone else’s problem because they could see it and I couldn’t. :-) Now, as I get older I find things happening, like the fact my butt is indeed my problem, somewhere along the line, it started to creep its way around my hips one calorie at a time until I do notice it and I am not happy about it!

Since, for some strange reason, whining and thinking about exercising didn’t seem to be melting anything off of my body, I’ve started to work out.


One of my problems was that I don’t know how to exercise. Never did, I didn’t have a weight problem, did the sports I liked, but like many thin, young people, I didn’t have a good idea of whole body health.


Enter Prudie at the Y. Our YMCA does a free 8 week program several times a year. You go and work with a personal trainer two times a week and learn how to use the machines, how to exercise for your fitness level and how to gradually increase what you are able to do. During this time you have a Y card and can go as many times as you want outside of class. If you complete their program of 16 classes, you can join the Y without the initial start up fee. Very cool.

This humorous kicker? For me the only class I can fit in is the one at 5:30 in the morning. Yep me, confirmed card-carrying member of the night owls club, is getting my hiney out of bed, driving to the Y and working out. At first, I could only make it the two days, but I have been gradually increasing amount that I have been going, and working out at home when Shon has the car out of town.

You know what? I hate to admit it that Cicero might be right, I am kind of starting to like this exercise thing….Who would have thought?